Paul writes in the Bible, “I will not be mastered by anything.” That sounds nice, Paul, but how do I do it? I am one of many people who have wasted much time and money while controlled by an addiction or habit. I thought I could beat it through prayer, church and determination. Finally, I gave up trying to fight my addiction to internet pornography. I got an account with Covenant Eyes. This decision has really helped me begin to see some lasting victory over my addiction.
Covenant Eyes is not an internet filtering system. Rather, it records every page I visit and attaches a score to each of these pages based on content. Weekly reports are e-mailed to two accountability partners that I have chosen. They can contact me about questionable scores. I have access to the logs also so I can appeal high scores for sites that appear to be harmless. The best thing about these reports is that my web browsing is no longer a secret. I can no longer use the excuse that no one else knows so it must be okay.
You may be controlled or addicted to something other than pornography. I urge you to find at least one person to hold you accountable. Meet with them, phone them, send e-mail reports or any other way that someone you trust can help live victoriously. If anything controls us, it must be the Holy Spirit, God within us. Remember, God wants to use all of you to bring His light to the world. Please let go of any darkness that an addiction brings to your soul.
I know addictions are not popular to talk about. I know I have made myself vulnerable my talking about mine. I do not glory in my sin but rather in the great work that God is doing to make me look like Him. Unless I am in control of my passions and desires, I will miss much of His blessing. Yes, I can never be perfect in this fallen world but I must repent immediately whenever I sin so that my ministry is unaffected. The victory has already been won but I need to stay connected to the Champion who secured it. Only then can I see my true purpose for this life. Who or what is controlling you? That is the question.
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3 comments:
You are very brave and I am proud of you.
I think it's courageous for you to come clean on this publically.
Have you ever heard of xxxchurch.com??? The pastors who run this ministry to porn stars and porn addicts were at our church last fall. I think they are doing brave and dangerous work that is desperately needed in our society. I hope that you continue to fight the power of porn's addiction and be able to help others too.
Thanks for the encouragement. It's not always an easy battle.
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